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In recent years, reality TV shows have skyrocketed in popularity in two main categories: competitions and documentaries following stars’ everyday lives.
Shows like The Voice, America’s Next Top Model, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and anything with a Kardashian headliner have become some of the most widely watched shows for the teen demographic—and some of the most influential. But what is the nature of this influence? Speaking to experts, parents, and teens themselves reveals that while reality TV poses significant problems, it can also play an important role in educating teens and improving familial communication.
Why It’s Popular: Entertainment and Aspiration
For teens, reality shows can be uplifting, inspiring, and informative—or just a mindless break from daily stresses. These shows capitalize on a widespread fascination with fame, drawing teens for reasons beyond pure entertainment.
Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, clinical psychologist, school consultant, and co-author of the newly released The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age (Harper Collins, 2013), notes that “reality TV plays into a huge shift in our culture where kids say what matters most is fame.” She explains that “[reality TV] plays into so many fantasies that teenagers have: the idea that your reality is star-worthy, the idea that everyday life, your ‘drama,’ could be watched by millions.” For teens, fame isn’t just about notoriety, it’s about the luxury and glamour that come along with it, and reality TV offers a window into this sought-after lifestyle.
Competition shows play a dual role. They have documentary appeal, but they are also aspirational, giving teens a road map to reality fame. While many shows revolve around existing celebrities like the Kardashians, other shows create celebrities and position fame as an achievable goal for anyone. As Alexander L., 17, of Los Angeles observes, these shows “provide hope for a lot of teenagers.” Teens everywhere can watch and think, “Maybe one day I can win The Voice or Idol.”
The Drawbacks: Blurring Fact and Fiction
Because teens take social cues from what they see, the negative impact of reality TV can be very real. Despite the fact that most reality TV shows are dramatized, scripted, and produced as much as non-reality shows (see inset), teens often comprehend them as being “real life.” As a result, Justin K., 18, of Los Angeles, articulates, “Whatever they [reality stars] say, people take seriously because they are playing themselves. [Teens] see people acting poorly toward one another and living glamorous lives. It makes people think ‘Oh, I can act like that.’”
Over time, reality TV exposure can have a deep influence over teens’ perceptions of the world. “The division between fact and fantasy is blurred…heavy exposure [to reality TV] affects peoples’ realities in the real world,” confirms Dr. Mina Tsay-Vogel, Assistant Professor of Communication at Boston University, who has extensively researched the topic.
Real to Me: Girls and Reality TV, a study from the Girl Scout Research Institute, explores the influence of these shows on girls.
Researchers found that reality TV viewers were more likely than non-viewers to believe that:
- It’s in girls’ natures to be competitive with one another (68% vs. 50%).
- Girls often have to compete for a guy’s attention (74% vs. 63%).
- They would rather be recognized for their outer beauty than their inner beauty (28% vs. 18%).
While boys may not be watching all the same shows or as many reality shows as girls, Dr. Steiner-Adair notes that the negative messages from these shows impact the beliefs and behaviors of all teens. “The reality TV norms are equally damaging to girls and boys,” she says. “Boys feel just as hurt and trapped by some of the crude stuff they are supposed to do in order to get together with girls.”
The Technological Impact: Inspiring Teens’ Own Reality “Shows”
Beyond its effects on their belief systems, Dr. Steiner-Adair connects reality TV and teens’ use of social media. She finds that young people, particularly girls, will go to a party and spend the entire time taking pictures of themselves and their friends. Then, just as reality TV producers craft their episodes to generate ratings, these teens will spend 1–2 hours editing their party photos, choosing the perfect ones, and planning the right time to post them on social networks in order to garner the most “likes” from their peers. Social media feeds reflect a series of “high points” strung together to create the image of the “perfect life” like those depicted on TV, a life marked by popularity, beauty, and glamour, while omitting any sense of struggle.
“Reality TV is lending to a culture of not being in the moment and a kind of dual identity,” Dr. Steiner-Adair says. “Teens and tweens are growing up in a culture where it’s not having fun that matters. Videotaping yourself having fun is more important. This mentality comes from reality TV,” she continues, “the idea that every moment is somehow newsworthy.”
Importantly, teens’ stories are carefully crafted. There’s a disconnect between what they are doing and feeling and what they are showing their social networks. For teens, Dr. Steiner-Adair says, “There’s the me in real life, and there’s the reality show I project.’”
Can You Place Limits?
Parents and experts agree that while it can be effective and beneficial to govern the amount of media teens consume, placing limits on specific content is a challenge. Janice K. of Chicago, who has a teenage son and daughter, found that in trying to restrict her daughter’s media intake, she was “putting her [daughter] at a disadvantage socially.” She explains, “I was seeing her friends judge each other on what they were watching, on what they knew.” Wanting her daughter to feel more a part of the cultural conversation, she gave in. Adrienne L., also of Chicago, says she hasn’t restricted TV at all for her three children. “I don’t feel like restricting it benefits anybody,” she says. “You just pique their interest.” Not to mention the task can be insurmountable. With an array of personal devices, teens literally can have all programming at their fingertips.
It’s Not All Negative: The Small Screen’s Silver Lining
Despite its undesirable effects and the obstacles it can cause for parents, reality TV offers parents a rare window into adolescent culture and opens the door for discussion. “Even though [my children] are going online right there in the living room, it’s not a shared activity. It’s solo,” says Janice K. “The one thing about reality TV is that it’s something to discuss.” Adrienne L. agrees that it’s a chance to connect with her children. “They portray a lifestyle that I don’t want my children to aspire to, a lifestyle that I wouldn’t want them to navigate.” But, she continues, “I use it as an opportunity for conversation. It’s an opportunity for education, and it keeps their ‘playground’ knowledge in check.”
You can also argue that reality shows bring significant attention to people and problems often not presented in regular mainstream TV, as well as present useful information for teens. Flip the channels and you’ll find people of diverse backgrounds and belief systems, and those battling very prevalent social problems.
Shows like The Biggest Loser Family Edition presents important information on diet and exercise; Intervention highlights many teen success stories in the battle against alcohol and drug abuse; and The Little People portrays a family navigating the same everyday issues as most families, except they are diagnosed with dwarfism.
And not all reality TV is aspirational. In 2010, a major study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy found that 87 percent of teens that watched MTV’s Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant actually felt that these shows educated them about, rather than glamorized, the consequences of being a young parent.
Using Reality TV to Your Advantage
When it comes to starting conversations with teens around reality TV, Dr. Richard Weissbourd, a Harvard psychologist and author of The Parents We Mean to Be (Harper Books, 2010), encourages parents to focus on how their children are digesting what they are watching and to aim for an understanding of their children’s emotional experiences with the content. “If you have a child who gets excited by someone getting humiliated on Idol, you want to discuss that,” he says. Dr. Steiner-Adair recommends asking questions and making statements designed to help teens “deconstruct the messages they are getting” and also plant ideas and phrases that they can use in their own lives. “The grown-ups who are the most effective are the ones who get in there and are not too intense and not too judgmental,” she says.
The process can be awkward and imperfect. Adrienne L. doesn’t expect to always get it right, but she tries. “I don’t think I can undo everything the media does, but I think I have a responsibility as a parent. What we learn and what our values are starts in our home.”
The good news is that the popularity of reality TV gives parents many chances. “It’s about building a series of mini-moments of small connection that add up over time,” Dr. Steiner-Adair says. “Teens need to hear over and over from parents what’s real and what’s not real.”
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